31 Times #1 Should Have Been Supervised

Mr. MotherOfDragons doesn’t have the luxury of working from home so throughout the day the Dragons and I are essentially unsupervised and generally unproductive. To further this debacle of a situation, there is also no clarification on the chain of command. Most days the dog is the king of the roost and it’s an absolute shit show.

You know the old adage, boys will be boys? Well I’m here to tell you I’m living it. I’m in the eye of the hurricane and it’s only getting faster and exponentially larger. You see, bringing these Dragons into the world was a life changing decision that literally spun the earth off its axis. From the second my boys exited the womb they hit the ground running and haven’t slowed down for a second. Not even to sleep. As Clark Griswald puts it: “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” Yeah. Clark gets it.

As for you, mothers of those sweet, tiny, infant baby boys who have yet to live the tale, here’s my greatest, most unsurpassed advice: There’s no stopping it from happening, so start working on your IDGAF attitude now.

#1: The time we went to the Mexican restaurant (the only restaurant in town that is Dragon approved) and #1 decided my sweet tea was a dumping ground for all of his play things
IMG_3485#2: The time he drank said play things:

IMG_3484#3: The time he visited #2 for a midnight play dateFullSizeRender#4: The time he turned our computer into a priceless masterpiece with a gold sharpieIMG_4068(no worries.. the Mr. Clean Eraser took care of it before Mr. MotherOfDragons came home and no one was the wiser. …Until he reads this post…)

#5: The time he tried to make a quiche and didn’t quite make it out of the fridge. IMG_3633#6: I really have no clueIMG_1397

IMG_1398IMG_1399IMG_1400#7: The time he MISTAKENLY thought he could handle his wineIMG_1357IMG_1353

#PARTYFOUL

#8: The time he thought he was part of an African Aboriginese TribeIMG_1325IMG_1336...And then brought it inside… Seriously, WHO is watching this kid? IMG_1266#9: The phase he went through when he and Jerry had to have their morning pee together every morningIMG_1261#10: The time he and Jerry snuck in for a nap time play date with #2 (ok this is super cute) IMG_0719#11: The time he underestimated the extent of his potty training. IMG_0686#12: The time his skin was too ashy

IMG_0652#13: The time Jerry needed a bathIMG_0637IMG_0636#14: The time he decided to have breakfast in bedIMG_0516#15: …And then on the living room floor..IMG_0374

#16: And then took it back to the bedroom.. IMG_4134#17: The time he confused the door mat for the potty. Clearly, this was one of the days the dog was in charge. IMG_0372#18: The time he forgot his gardening overalls. Seriously, WHO THE HELL is in charge of this kid? AND who is taking the pictures? IMG_0300#19: The time he thought fellow golfers needed a naked welcomeIMG_4259#20: The time he forgot what a helmet was IMG_3300#21: The time he channeled his inner Al BundyIMG_1369#22: Red lipstickIMG_1059IMG_1060

For the record: very few people look good in red lipstick. and those people are usually juggling. 

#23: The time he channeled his inner teenager and tried to TP the house. 

IMG_0344IMG_0343#24: The time he thought he was finally mature enough to handle his wine and proved himself way wrong. Again. …and then lapped it up like a calico catIMG_3214#25: The time he thought #2 needed a makeover IMG_2648#26: The time he thought his name was Genevieve Gorder & decided to redecorate mama’s newly renovated bathroom before the grout had even been mixedIMG_2632IMG_2637#27: The time we stopped for gas and he mysteriously ended up on the windshieldIMG_1698#28: The time he thought his cupcake needed a little extra seasoningIMG_1672IMG_1676#29: The time he thought he was invisible IMG_1542#30: The time he thought he was the bowling ballIMG_1425

And #31: The time he thought he was visiting a nudist colonyIMG_1444IMG_1442The way I see it, you can either have a sense of shame OR have small children, and I have dragons. Its like Mr. MotherOfDragons repeatedly says: “The inmates are running the asylum” and I think he’s exactly right.

**Please don’t call child services

Follow the Dragons on Instagram

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “31 Times #1 Should Have Been Supervised

  1. Oh my god, l just laughed out loud for the entirety of this post. The gold sharpie computer is just brilliant. Then l have this sense of dread of what is to come with our boy…. 🙂

    Like

    1. So glad you liked it!! I almost died when he sharpied the computer. Especially since my husband was due home any minute.
      And forget that sense of dread… Just hang loose, keep an open mind & go with the flow. Shit is going to happen and there’s nothing you can do (most of the time). Best of luck to you!!!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s