*The inevitable course of mourning experienced by all dragons when forced to face the sad, sad, fate of cleanliness*
Sometimes you just have to get a little dirty. Sometimes the messes you find yourself in actually find YOU. It’s unavoidable. At the end of the day, however, this level of grime means only one ting: BATH TIME. Let the emotional roller coaster begin.
STAGE 1: Denial. As the tub starts to fill with water, your natural instinct is to avoid the inevitable. Maybe a tantrum will help. Perhaps if I hide, she won’t wash meWHAT?? NO??
Even as you get forced unceremoniously into the bubbles, you cannot fathom that this is happening to you. The world suddenly seems meaningless. You are numb.
STAGE 2: Anger. You’ve accepted that this is happening, but you’re not happy about it. You feel the need to lash out against those closest to the event that has caused you pain, and mama is the recipient of this wrath.
When the anger subsides, the third stage of bath-time grief is Bargaining.
STAGE 3: Bargaining. In your moments of despair, you will do anything to make the suffering stop. Desperation, thy name is hygiene.
If I quote the entire monologue from Sleepless In Seattle, can I get out?
If I read you this book about farm animals, can I get out? If I count my toes, can I get out? After bargaining, the next stage of grief is depression.
STAGE 4: Depression. You are thinking in terms of the present, realizing the magnitude of your hardship. You can no longer go on. You surrender.
You are, indeed, in a tub. You are covered in bubbles. You are forced to abandon your natural scent and learn to move on without the dirt that gloriously adorned you. Which leads us to the final step in bath time grieving. Acceptance
STAGE 5: Acceptance. A common misconception regarding acceptance is that the bather is suddenly all right with what is happening. This is not true.
Instead, acceptance is coming-to-terms with one’s cleanliness. Though in the tub, you are able to reach a sense of peace with the loss that has befallen you.In a way, you have resigned to your soapy fate. Soon you’ll have your Brazilian blow-out and shine like the rest of them.
You actually dig your new look Time to stock up on supplies for next time!
One thought on “5 Stages of Bath Time Grief”
Rebecca, I think this is great. I never would have thought of the 5-stages but is was a natural for you. I think it’s perfect. You really are the mother of dragons. MOD.